The Art of Giving

"Give others all that is alive in us-our interest, understanding, our knowledge, our humor, everything in us that's good. In doing so, we enhance the sense of aliveness in others while enhancing our own. When we give, we get a "heightened vitality" of what it means to be human." - Erich Fromm

True giving comes from the same place inside you as your deepest happiness. They are inexplicably intertwined. A gift is something that is enjoyed twice. First by the giver who revels in the pleasure of giving something special and then also enjoyed by the person who receives the gift.

With our changing economic times, everyone is asking for help in some form. There are as many reasons to give as there are ways to give. Some people give for recognition. They want their names in programs, on park benches and in hospital lobbies. Others give expecting to be paid back or thanked, they give to get. Some people want a hands-on-experience and are generous with their time. Some like to give anonymously and don't want any recognition at all.

People who truly master the art of giving give out of the goodness of their hearts with no self-serving motives. Giving becomes a blessing for the giver and receiver. It's human nature to believe, "When I have more I'll give more." If you come from this mentality you never have enough of anything to give. Generosity is a choice that feels right and joyful. Generosity comes from believing you have enough to share.

You may be a bit skeptical, wondering what exactly do you have to give? Everybody has something of value for another person. It could be a kind word, a simple smile, some appreciation, the sharing of some special knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of support during a difficult emotional time. You have something to give everyone.

The act of true giving is something wonderful and amazing. With most things in this world, there is only a limited amount of what you can give away. Fortunately, generosity and kindness are not bound to these same material limitations. One of life's most basic laws is "every single act of love, kindness and generosity will multiply and return to you many times over ". The more you give the happier you will feel.

Many thousands of years ago a great sage in Babylon said "The reward of charity depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it." It is one of life's wonderful paradoxes that you limit the power of your giving by having an expectation of getting something in return. When you give without any thought or desire for something back, your returns will be truly limitless.

Your life is like a river of energy, continually flowing. What happens when a river stops moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. A fast flowing river is full of life and clear water. Where would you rather drink? The acts of giving and receiving are a continuous process of circulation that continues the flow of your life's energies. For one person to receive someone else has to give. It's a cycle of energy that flows continually onwards.

Pause for as moment as you read this, and take a big, deep breath. Hold it for as long as you possibly can. As you hold it inside, notice how uncomfortable you begin to feel when you are holding on to something that is meant to be released. Now, breath out, completely and hold your breath with your lungs fully emptied. Feel how uncomfortable you feel when you are resisting taking in something that you need.

True giving, without expectation of anything in return is as effortless as breathing. How often do you expect back from the person you gave something to a gift of a similar or greater value? Is this true giving or merely an unvoiced expectation of an exchange of similar goods? Have you ever heard anyone saying " I just give and give and give until I have nothing left "? This behavior has many other names. Self denial, self pity, martyrdom, self righteousness to name just a few.

This is an ego based form of giving. It is giving with an expectation of something in return. In reality, this is not giving at all but an un-vocalized form of barter. If, through the act of giving, you feel that you have "lost something or are somehow lessened" then the gift was not truly given from your heart. Truly giving something from the heart is an action which will fill your life with joy. This is where the expression to "give whole heartedly" comes from.

The intention behind your giving is the most important thing. The intention should always be to create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. If you experience resentment and a feeling of "I don't really want to give this to this person, but I feel that I have to" or "I really should give them something," this is probably what ultimately will come back to you. Perhaps in this case, you need to consider not giving the gift at all!

What you give out is what comes back in direct proportions to the feelings you have in the act of giving. It's very simple. If you want to experience more joy, give joy to others, if you want more love, learn to give love, if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give appreciation to others. These are some of life's most precious gifts and they don't cost you anything. When you meet someone, you can silently send them a blessing, wishing them happiness, joy and laughter. This kind of silent giving is very powerful. Do this, (with no thought of return) and you will suddenly find people around you opening to you in joy and happiness.

In ancient China, Lao Tsu wrote "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in Giving Creates Love."

The following are gifts we all have that can benefit others.

• Give of Your Talents


Give someone an hour of coaching, offer child care or do you have plumbing, painting, or landscaping skills? Give things. Clean your home and clear out your closet of unwanted things. Give what you don't use or need to charity. Your junk is someone else's treasure.


• Give blood


Save a life. I've done this on several occasions; it's a great feeling to know you are helping to save someone's life.


• Give of yourself


Make someone feel loved, special and appreciated with a visit, phone call, email, text or card. Give a handmade gift. Give praise, gratitude and appreciation. This creates heart-to-heart connections.


• Give a recommendation


Enrich someone's life by sharing the discovery of a great blog, book, restaurant, product or service. The message you give is "This was a great find for me and I want to share it with you."


• Give the gift of laughter


Laughter brings health and happiness to others. It offers physiological, psychological and spiritual benefits. Laugh loud and laugh often with everyone.


• Give an invitation


Being invited to any kind of event means people want to be with you. When you invite someone into your life you are saying, "I want to spend time with you, you are important to me.


• Give affection


Appropriately offer a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the back, a touch on an arm or a tender look. We never lose the need for affection and acceptance. Touching heals emotional wounds.


• Give good advice


Ask the question, "Do you want advice or to you want me to listen." If needed and wanted advice can be life-saving. Shared insights and wisdom is a precious gift.


• Give encouragement


When people are filled with doubt and fear they lack courage. When you inspire and motivate someone to act on their dreams, it can be life changing. You are making the world a better place.


• Give without keeping score


Real giving is expecting nothing in return. Give when you have the opportunity not because you received something and want to return the favor. Never hesitate to give because you gave last.


• Give forgiveness


Forgiveness offers healing to family, friends, coworkers and neighbors. Forgive yourself and others in spite of memories of unlovable times. Drop the story of what they did and what you did and the meaning you have given it.


• Give money


Giving stuff is easy. We usually don't need or want it... But almost everyone likes to hang on to their money. Giving away money is more difficult because it means less for you. Give money because others need it. Give money because we're dependent on one another.


• Give an act of kindness


Kindness is the easiest and most abundant gift we have to give away. Buy Girl Scout cookies, always open the door for the person behind you, return your grocery cart, make cookies for your neighbor. The list is endless. Kindness brings joy to the giver, receiver and anyone witnessing the act!


• Give love


It's easy to love those who love us back. Challenge yourself to give love to those who deserve it the least. Make your love unconditional. Make the world a more loving place. Everyone will reap the benefits!

The act of giving precludes reciprocity of any kind. It's a manifestation of the love we feel within, just bursting for a way out. True giving flows freely from the heart, with the full force of love and compassion and honest selflessness propelling it forward. Anything less is simply a disguised request for a bartered transaction.

Dealing with Life's Problems

How often have you been living life, happy and content, and then suddenly life slaps you in the face with something unexpected? We all have problems, and the truth of the matter is that problems will never go away. They will just change form.
One time you may be struggling with health, the next with money, and still the next with relationships. That is both the curse and blessing of life.

You don't have to suffer because everything isn't perfect in your life.

Behind the Scenes of Problems
Nothing becomes a problem until you label it so. You've probably noticed that different people have different opinions of what problems are, and how much attention should be given to any one thing. This means that problems exist in our heads, and that we create them, define them, and fear them.
The Most Overlooked Secret
The secret to dealing with life's problems is to realize that they are illusions of our imagination. Sure, they feel very real.
Let's say you're driving your car merrily down the highway, until someone cuts you off. You might fly off the handle, or you might not. It will depend on how you perceive the situation. It's an excellent example of how some people create something to complain about where others are completely fine.
Life will always have "problems" and the way to deal with them is to let them be. You don't have to try to analyze, fantasize, or figure out your problems. Let them figure themselves out. The more you try, the more you fuel the problem, and the more miserable you become.
This doesn't mean you stop solving problems. It means you stop the compulsive worrying and fear-mongering inside your head.
How to Stop the Compulsive Worrying
You can stop the madness by simply staying present, and letting whatever happens be. This can be extremely hard if you bump into a problem that is important to you, but it is through those big problems that the biggest changes occur.
Why is Life so Hard?
Life can seem tough from time to time, but it is through those tough times that you grow as a human being. It's uncomfortable, but that's life.
It's a rollercoaster with both highs and lows, which we all have to live through, so you might as well learn how to deal with the lows. The more comfortable you become with life's problems, the more you'll enjoy life's gifts.
Conclusion
Life is what it is, and most of life's problems are created by us. The problems are events in our life, no one is denying that, but the extrapolation that we do freaks us out, and then we wonder why we feel so bad.
It's a life-long habit most of us have cultivated, which means we can change it. But change starts with awareness. Be kind to yourself, and enjoy both the highs and the lows.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

  We are all gifted with a unique set of skills and abilities. With those abilities we can make extra-ordinary things happen in the world around us, or not.

It is completely up to you whether you want your life to make a difference and what difference you want your life to make.

Many people set lofty goals for their lives and want to be remembered as visionaries, they want to change and save the world.

Others want to be remembered as the kind man or women down the street who always helped and always listened if you needed help.

Who do you think is the better person?

The one who changes the world or the one who saves the individual?

Do what not have to do incredible things; just being there for the people around you can save someone from a meaningless life and help them lead the life they were meant to live.

Small things matter

Changing the life of another person is an incredible feeling and it is completely within your grasp. You can do this by deciding to become a mentor for a young ambitious person. You can help them avoid the mistakes you have made and help them learn from the ones they will inevitably make themselves.

Fight for someone's rights

You will often see someone get treated unfairly. It happens both professionally and socially, individuals who deserve recognition do not get it.

By taking up the fight and making sure others get what they deserve and earned you will be a true hero. You will make a lasting impact on their lives and you will be rewarded with love and help in the future when you are in need.

The law of karma says that whatever you do you will get back three fold, helping others is therefore a selfish act, but still a good act, one that you should do without fear, with love and with the knowledge that you will one day be rewarded.

Go the distance

Compromise is the enemy of long term commitment, if you have committed to helping someone by being their mentor or by fighting for their rights, doesn't stop half way. Go the distance and see it through. Make sure something happens so all your work doesn't end up as only talk.

Conclusion

In truth we might all be here to help each other, we might all be a part of a machine that fosters cooperation, or were not. We might just be here to make the best of the situation for ourselves.

In any case, helping others brings happiness and prosperity into your own life, so for whatever reason you chose to help others, it will always help you in return.

The difference between stopping half way and finishing isn't much in terms of the work you put in, but worlds apart in the difference for the individual you are helping.

A Thought

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

This Poem is dedicated to all the people who think they've lost on Life.
Life is a mystery... Anything can happen

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

Listen to the Mustn't,
Listen to the Don't
Listen to the Shouldn't
The Impossibles,
the Won't
Listen to the Never Haves,
Then listen close to me

--Anything can happen, MY FRIEND,
Anything can be.

#BEPOSITIVE #STAYHAPPY #WOOPWOPP

Take your pick

8 Principles of Succes

“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” — Arnold H. Glasow
Most people talk about success so much that they rarely have any time to practice it. They try to develop strategies, learn all about it, try to prepare and plan all outcomes, to analyze how others succeeded, etc. And eventually they start worrying about what might happen, remind themselves of their past failures and put too much effort into thinking how not to let that happen again. And in the end, they fear success, they think it’s too hard, too far away. It starts to look impossible. And many don’t even try. Which is the biggest defeat one can experience. And the truth is that everyone who succeeded had a specific goal in mind, dedicated all his time and energy, worked hard, and made that a habit. And soon success came.
But there are some other things successful people tend to do that get them closer to reaching their goals. And making any of them a part of your daily life will definitely bring you some progress.

Here are 8 principles of success:

1. 100% responsibility.

The average person blames others (parents, friends, teachers, partner, colleagues) for what doesn’t work for him. He judges, compares himself to others. And he never moves on with his life.
Successful people, on the other hand, take full responsibility for their actions, admit mistakes, aren’t afraid to face the consequences. And it helps them become more fearless. Strengthens their mindset. Prepares them for the challenges on the way to success.

2. Ask for what you want.

You may have figured out what you want the most, but now you need to go and get it. Or at least ask for it.
You may never get a promotion, if you don’t tell your boss that you think you’re ready for it. And your soul mate may walk away if you don’t talk to her/him and confess your feelings. If you want to be a writer, write and share your works, ask for help, make your friends read your work, send it to publishers, etc.
No one else will do it for you.

3. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Perseverance means trying again, and again. You’ll often hear ‘no’. Accept that. It’s almost never as bad as you think. It doesn’t mean that you’ve failed, or that your work isn’t good enough.
It’s just that there’s too much competition out there, influential people are busy, others aren’t looking for new employees, or else.
You may just not be the right person for what you’re trying to do. Which means that your work will be much more appreciated somewhere else and that place is still waiting for you.
J.K. Rowling was rejected by many publishers, before someone actually had faith in her book and decided to give it a try. And now that you see what happened, the other ones can only regret saying ‘no’. So it’s almost never personal.

4. Express gratitude on a regular basis.

Every day you should thank for all you’ve got. For the people that love you, the things you have the chance to do, the time you’re given, the opportunities around you, the things you’re good at, the belongings you have, the home you live in, etc. That will make you much more contented with your life. You’ll be more peaceful, happier and will appreciate what you have. Then it will become much more.

5. Don’t rely on luck.

Luck may exist. But analyzing whether it does is time-consuming. Instead, make your own luck. Notice opportunities and take them. Show up. Be confident. Be persistent. People will soon notice that. And they will want you to work for them, some will want to be in your company, others – to learn from you.

6. Be always on the grow.

Never miss a chance to learn something new – read books, listen to podcasts, follow your mentors on their journey to success, go to seminars, and never miss a chance to improve your skills by practicing what you do best.

7. Keep yourself motivated.

You won’t change your mind about what you want to achieve, but it's quite possible that you lose motivation. And without a burning desire, there’s no progress.
So empower yourself daily by spending time with like-minded people and sharing ideas with them, by becoming more confident,visualizing your success and enjoying the whole process.

8. Take action.

That’s the key step towards your dreams.
Nothing will ever happen if you don’t take any action. And more importantly, if you don’t repeat that every day. Success is a result of hard work that is done every single day.
Only by practicing can you get better and eventually master the things you do, see what doesn’t work and stop doing it, become confident in your abilities, generate ideas, be focused and get more done, make hard work a habit, start believing in yourself, see progress and thus have the motivation to keep going.

Go ahead! Success is waiting for you.