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Self Confidence

Most people believe that self confidence comes from being good at something, from success, from experience, or from already possessing the skills to do what you do at the highest level.  Actors suffer horribly from self-doubt, and in this post, I want to help you discover just how simple it is to start building your self confidence today.

But what is self confidence? Where does it come from? And what’s the #1 secret to building self confidence for actors?

Self confidence really comes from how you see yourself. It’s created by the inner dialogue, the narrative, the self talk of your thoughts. You behave in line with how you see yourself. You tend to believe your own thoughts, and those thoughts turn to beliefs and those beliefs in turn transform into your reality. The things we think become true for us and affect our behaviour.

The thoughts that we lay down in our minds, become the tracks we live our lives upon, and as actors, those tracks guide our career, and our performance, and all the choices we make. If we want to build self-confidence, it is at this constructional stage in our thinking that we must BUILD a different narrative.

It’s pretty hard to have strong faith in yourself and self confidence in your performance, if your self talk is negative, highly critical or constantly reminding you of your failures, or what you have to lose.

So self confidence comes from being able to listen to this inner dialogue and to separate out the thoughts of this inner narrative and to decide which of it is helpful, which is damaging and which is just plain old self-sabotage.

The #1 secret to building self confidence is to change the story you are telling yourself.  Now sometimes that’s not possible alone. Sometimes you do need a coach, or a teacher, a friend, someone else with an objective perspective to hear your thoughts and perhaps persuade you that the way you are thinking is filling you with self-doubt and damaging your self-confidence.

When a coach does this, they will listen carefully to the reality that you’ve built up for yourself around your self-talk and then they will offer you an alternative. This may create competing kinds of self-talk between your inner critic who was perhaps giving you a very negative way of seeing things, and the new way that your coach has given you. This could be a situation where you did poorly in an audition and you came back and talked it through with your coach and you’re losing confidence because you should be nailing these auditions but you’re not. And your coach may really have to offer an image of your progress that is non-judgmental, but may be hard to hear. Maybe there are things that you need to tackle that you’ve been avoiding, maybe you’ve been self-sabotaging around things you find difficult.

We all talk to ourselves in our head. But most of the problem with a lack of self confidence comes from those conversations. If we can change those conversations, we can build self confidence, if we do not change them, we become the victim of our own negative self talk.

If you don’t have a coach, you will have tackle this for yourself. This starts with simply acknowledging that there is a negative voice in your head, an inner critic, whose words aren’t helpful (notice it never criticises itself) or objectively true.  So listening to your inner dialogue, you should ignore any narrative that isn’t objective. And start attempting to see things objectively. It is what it is.  Without judgment, we can see that clearly. Non judgmental self awareness is the key to developing self confidence because you can begin listening to what is helpful and blocking out what is not.

The key to developing your self confidence is to listen carefully to your inner narrative, and to begin to learn to talk to yourself, with yourself in a non-judgmental way. It doesn’t mean you can avoid criticism, feedback is healthy, but by seeing things for how they are, you will soon remove blockages to your self confidence.

Spurts of Enthusiasm and Lack of Interest

"Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit."- Gordon Parks

Do you sometimes feel enthusiastic, motivated and energetic when starting something new, but after some time lose your enthusiasm and interest?

This can happen when practicing a self-improvement program, studying a new subject, dieting, exercising, or doing anything else.Though you understand the importance of what you are doing, know that it will help you, still, you let laziness set in, as well as lack of motivation, lack of enthusiasm, and lack of enough willpower.

This makes you feel that what you are doing is some kind of a burden.

Often, people start practicing concentration exercises, meditation, self-discipline exercises, or any other program relating to self improvement or spiritual growth, but if they don't experience immediate and spectacular results, they stop and give up.

Everything in life requires some work, effort and time, and self-improvement or spiritual growth methods are no different.

*.What to do when interest and enthusiasm wanes?
*.How to persevere when there isn't enough willpower and self-discipline?

The program or goal might seems worthwhile, but there isn't enough inner strength to pursue them.

Self-defeating habits, negative programming, and lack of inner strength stand on one's way.This is why people buy books, attend classes, courses, and workshop, and yet, find they are not making enough progress. This is why enthusiasm and hopes are replaced by depression, self-pity and lack of self-esteem.

Often, after reading a book or an article, after listening to a lecture or watching a movie, there is a burst of enthusiasm and a high energy level, but this often does not last long.

What can you do to keep enthusiastic and motivated?

Short spurts of enthusiasm or motivation are not enough to accomplish anything of value.
You need to keep your desire and inner flame alive and focused on your goal.

So what can you do about it?

1.Devote 10 minutes a day to reading and thinking about the benefits of what you want to do or accomplish.
2.Every day, read about people who achieved success by being tenacious and persistent.
3.Every day, find a quiet place, and for several minutes visualize yourself acting with enthusiasm and motivation.
4.Every success requires dedication, time, perseverance and tenacity. This means that you should not give up quickly.There is a well known story about a gold prospector, who, after digging to some depth did not find anything, gave up and went away. Then someone else came, and after digging just a few inches more, struck gold.You need to be patient and persistent, even if you see no progress, because success might be just a few inches away.
5.Keep repeating affirmations that empower you and inflame your enthusiasm and motivation.
6.Never condider what you are doing as drudgery. With a little thinking and few changes you can turn it into a pleasurable activity.
7.Once you decide about anything, go on with it, even after you lose enthusiasm and desire. Don't give up, even if what you are doing seems to be like a burden and drudgery. Don't give up, even if you feel bored.

Keep telling yourself about the benefits of what you are doing, and keep thinking and visualizing, how it will be like after accomplishing what you have set to do.

Remember, this is your own life, and you are responsible for it. Why succumb to laziness and negative programming? This might not be easy, and there might be obstacles on the way.

Keep thinking about how happy you would be after achieving success.

Visualize how your life would change, if you overcome laziness, negative thoughts, negative programming. Just keep your mind on the goal, no matter what.

Don't rely on spurts of enthusiasm to carry you to your destination. You need to stand up, not give up, and awaken the dormant powers that are within you.

Never give up, but keep going on, even if the going is tough and you want to quit. If you keep going, and use affirmations andvisualization, soon your desire and enthusiasm will grow, and theprogress will become easier.

Ingredients for a great Life

Interview of Shri Amitabh Bachchan by Sarfaraz Mansoor, The Independent, UK. A must read for Actors. The humbleness of the Legend, Let's Learn from him.

SM: You're the biggest name in Indian film history and everyone acknowledges it apart from you – why is that?
AB: Actually the writer is most important. They dictate the terms. The director tells us what to do and where to stand. Someone comes to dress you up, someone else comes to do your make up and all you do is deliver your lines. It is a huge combined effort and our contribution is very minimal.

SM: I'm not sure I agree: those films worked because of what you brought to the role. On screen, you always exuded immense charisma, but is it true that you are actually rather an introvert?
AB: It's frightening to be facing an audience. There is always the fear of what they think of you, what they are saying about you. But so long as we are performing in the isolation of the studio and don't have too many people looking at us, we manage.

SM: Your films are repeated on television all the time. Do you ever find yourself flicking through the channels and landing on one of yours?
AB: I do sometimes watch them when they are on television. I usually start looking for all the faults I made.

SM: Indian films are often hugely dramatic: they are fun to watch, but how does it affect an actor to be playing such parts?
AB: We play many emotions in our careers, emotions that in real life we would perform just once. For example, my character has died in about 10 films, so you have to keep searching for different ways to do it!

SM: You've had great success in film but have also known failure. Would it be true to say that, although your reputation was made on film, it was rescued by television when you decided to host Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
AB: Yes. Everyone thought I was committing hara-kari, but it was essential for me to do something. I was facing bankruptcy, court cases, creditors, a failed company and a failed career.

SM: Staying with television, in the West, with shows such as Mad Men and Breaking Bad, that seems to be where the action is. Can you imagine a time when Bollywood is usurped by television?
AB: Well, there has been a vast explosion in television. There are 800 channels with content from around the world that is qualitatively better than what we get in our cinema. This has offered healthy competition, as Indian cinema wants to compete with the West. The advantage of TV is that there is a greater span of storytelling, and you have more time to develop a character. So, TV is a very exciting proposition, and I think we will get there. Eventually tastes will change.

SM: After your life-threatening accident during the making of Coolie, so many people prayed for your recovery. That must have been hard to process...
AB: I try to find ways to express my gratitude. My [public interactions] remain a happy debt which I am fond of carrying. It bears the love and affection of the people, and is a wonderful opportunity to hear and feel the fans who have loved my work.

SM: The roles you did in the Seventies and Eighties were quite narrow in range. But in your recent films, including Shamitabh, you are really expanding your range. Do you think you have become a better actor with age?
AB: I have had greater opportunity to do things that are different, and this comes with age. I can't be playing the leading man, so expectations become lower and I can take more risks.

SM: You've made more than 180 films. You must feel you've done it all. Does film-making still excite you?
AB: I get excited every day: it is wonderful, and it is inexplicable. It would be a horrible day if I was to think, I have done it. It would kill any creativity I possess if I was to be satisfied. Any creative person should never be satisfied with their work.

SM: Don't you think you've done enough to be satisfied with your work and not to worry what people think?
AB: I am insecure about tomorrow. Will I get another job? Will it be appreciated? I will pursue acting for as long as I have a face and body that is acceptable to the people but I still worry that if I don't do better tomorrow, it will all go away.

Beware of whom YOU turn down

History abounds with tales of experts who were convinced that the ideas, plans, and projects of others could never be achieved.
However, accomplishment came to those who said, "I can make it happen."

The Italian sculptor Agostino d'Antonio worked diligently on a large piece of marble. Unable to produce his desired masterpiece, he lamented, "I can do nothing with it." Other sculptors also worked this difficult piece of marble, but to no avail. Michelangelo discovered the stone and visualized the possibilities in it. His "I-can-make-it-happen" attitude resulted in one of the world's masterpieces - David.

The experts of Spain concluded that Columbus's plans to discover a new and shorter route to the West Indies was virtually impossible. Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand ignored the report of the experts. "I can make it happen," Columbus persisted. And he did. Everyone knew the world was flat, but not Columbus. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, along with Columbus and his small band of followers, sailed to "impossible" new lands and thriving resources.

Even the great Thomas Alva Edison discouraged his friend, Henry Ford, from pursuing his fledgling idea of a motorcar. Convinced of the worthlessness of the idea, Edison invited Ford to come and work for him. Ford remained committed and tirelessly pursued his dream. Although his first attempt resulted in a vehicle without reverse gear, Henry Ford knew he could make it happen. And, of course, he did.

"Forget it," the experts advised Madame Curie. They agreed radium was a scientifically impossible idea. However, Marie Curie insisted, "I can make it happen."

Let's not forget our friends Orville and Wilbur Wright. Journalists, friends, armed forces specialists, and even their father laughed at the idea of an airplane. "What a silly and insane way to spend money. Leave flying to the birds," they jeered. "Sorry," the Wright brothers responded. "We have a dream, and we can make it happen." As a result, a place called Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, became the setting for the launching of their "ridiculous" idea.

Finally, as you read these accounts under the magnificent lighting of your environment, consider the plight of Benjamin Franklin. He was admonished to stop the foolish experimenting with lighting. What an absurdity and waste of time! Why, nothing could outdo the fabulous oil lamp. Thank goodness Franklin knew he could make it happen. You too can make it happen!

It Couldn't Be Done

Somebody said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle replied That maybe it couldn't, but he would be one Who wouldn't say so "till he tried." So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin On his face. If he worried, he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it. Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that; At least no one ever has done it." But he took off hiscoat and took off his hat And the first thing he knew he'd begun it. With the lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, Without any doubting or quiddit, He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done. There are thousands to prophesyfailure. There are thousands to point out to you, one by one, the dangers that wait to assail you. But just buckle right in with a bit of a grin, then take off your coat and go to it; just start in to sing as youtackle the thing that cannot be done, and you'll do it.

From Candles to Soap

In 1879, Procter and Gamble's best seller was candles. But the company was in trouble. Thomas Edison had invented the light bulb, and it looked as if candles would become obsolete. Their fears became reality when the market for candles plummeted since they were now sold only for special occasions.The outlook appeared to be bleak for Procter and Gamble. However, at this time, it seemed that destiny played a dramatic part in pulling the struggling company from the clutches of bankruptcy. A forgetful employee at a small factory in Cincinnati forgot to turn off his machine when he went to lunch. The result? A frothing mass of lather filled with air bubbles. He almost threw the stuff away but instead decided to make it into soap. The soap floated. Thus, Ivory soap was born and became the mainstay of the Procter and Gamble Company.Why was soap that floats such a hot item at that time? In Cincinnati, during that period, some people bathed in the Ohio River. Floating soap would never sink and consequently never got lost. So, Ivory soap became a best seller in Ohio and eventually across the country also.Like Procter and Gamble, never give up when things go wrong or when seemingly insinuations problems arise.

Creativity put to work can change a problem and turn it into a gold mine.

A Ten-Cent Idea

When young F. W. Woolworth was a store clerk, he tried to convince his boss to have a ten-cent sale to reduce inventory. The boss agreed, and the idea was a resounding success. This inspired Woolworth to open his own store and price items at a nickel and a dime. He needed capital for such a venture, so he asked his boss to supply the capital for part interest in the store. His boss turned him down flat. "The idea is too risky," he told Woolworth. "There are not enough items to sell for five and ten cents." Woolworth went ahead without his boss's backing, and he not only was successful in his first store, buteventually he owned a chain of F. W. Woolworth stores across the nation. Later, his former boss was heard to remark, "As far as I can figure out, every word I used to turn Woolworth down cost me about a million dollars."

Time To Think

Henry Ford hired an efficiency expert to go through his plant. He said, "Find the nonproductive people. Tell me who they are, and I will fire them!"
The expert made the rounds with his clipboard in hand and finally returned to Henry Ford's office with his report. "I've found a problem with one of your administrators," he said. "Every time I walked by, he was sitting with his feet propped up on the desk. The man never does a thing. I definitely think you should consider getting rid of him!" When Henry Ford learned the name of the man the expert was referring to, Ford shook his head and said, "I can't fire him. I pay that man to do nothing but think - and that's what he's doing.

Conclusion

If an impulse comes to say some un-thoughtful word today that may drive a friend away, don't say it!

If you've heard a word of blame cast upon your neighbor's name. That may injure his fair fame, don't tell it!

If malicious gossip's tongue some vile slander may have flung on the head of old or young, don't repeat it!

Thoughtful, kind, helpful speech," 'Tis a gift promised to each - this, lesson we would teach"!

Exercises for Will Power and Self Discipline

Willpower and Self Discipline Exercises

Exercise no. 1

You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and giveup your seat, even if you prefer to stay seated.
Act so, not just because it is polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do.
This is an exercise in overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings.

Exercise no. 2
There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone washing them for later.
Get up and wash them now.
Do not let laziness control you. When you know that in this way, you are actually strengthening yourself, it becomes easier to take immediate action, despite laziness and the desire to procrastinate.

Exercise no. 3
You come home from work and sit in front of the T.V., because you feel too lazy and too tired to take ashower first.
Do not succumb to the desire to sit in front of the T.V, and go take a shower immediately.

Exercise no. 4
Do you like your coffee with sugar? If you do, then for one whole week drink it without sugar. Do you drink three cups of coffee each day? If you do, then drink only two cups a day for one whole week.
Such exercises prove to you that you can control or change your habits, and this inner strength.

Exercise no. 5
Do you, like many others, like to read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper or magazine? Then forone whole week abstain from doing so.
This might not be easy, but it's a good training. I am not telly you to do so indefinitely, but only one week.

Exercise no. 6
If you have the choice of going up with the elevator or climbing the stairs, choose climbing the stairs. However, climb the stairs only if it's not a high storey, and you are in good physical condition.

These are very simple exercises, which everyone can practice.

Remember, the purpose of the exercisesis to develop inner strength, not to make life difficult for you.
If you practice weight lifting, running or aerobics, you strengthen your muscles, and therefore, you can use your physical strength whenever you need it.

It is the same with willpower and self-discipline. When you strengthen them, you make them available for use, whenever you need them.

They give you more control over your life, help you change and improve habits, and are essential for personal and spiritual growth and for achieving success.

Hope

“An exit from somewhere is an entry to somewhere”.

It’s been said that for every disadvantage there is a corresponding advantage.

There’s hope in every hopeless situation...

There’s a message in every mess...

There’s promotion after every examination (Temptation)...

There are opportunities in every difficulty...

There’s a great grace waiting for you in every disgrace...

Probably your setback is a set up for a spectacular comeback.

My Brother once told me that;

You don’t have to cry so much over your failure... it is reversible.

That you mistakenly spilled the milk to the floor is not the end of life... as long as you still have the cow, you will make a better one.

That you failed once..., twice..., thrice..., or many times, is not enough to label you as a failure.

It’s only the event that failed... you are not yet a failure until you admit that you are one.

Too many people cry too much about missed opportunities, failed plans, and collapsed business, to the extent that they close their eyes to new and better ideas.

Where you are right now is not your end stop... it is only a bus stop.

Weeping may endure for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

The very evidence that your predicament will never be permanent is the fact that you were not born with it.

Everything with a beginning surely has an end.As long as you still have what God put inside you:

• You will be celebrated where you were once tolerated

• New doors will surely open for you

• Greater opportunities abounds

• Your success is guaranteed

• You are sure to rise seven times higher than you fell

• You will fly where you once crawled

There is hope of a GLORIOUS tomorrow for us all....

The Power of DARING

Only people who dare, try, and persevere, complete tasks and achieve success.It is so comfortable to be passive, make no effort, and stick to the familiar. However, by doing so, we allow external influences shape your life.

Daring, trying new things, and making changes, seem intimidating. It is more comfortable to suffer, complain, and stay in the same place.

Why Daring Is Intimidating?

*.You afraid you might make mistakes.

*.You are afraid to look ridiculous.

*.You want to avoid criticism.

*.There is a lack of self-esteem.

*.There is a lack of self-confidence.If you wish to let the above list intimidate you, and therefore, be unhappy, complain, and stay where you are, this is your choice.

However, if you want to live a greater life, you should consider taking a step beyond your fears and start daring.It is not so difficult to do.

It is a matter of attitude. It is a matter of changing your mindset.
As the saying goes, 'it is all in the mind'.After the first step, it would seem less intimating to dare, even if you make mistakes and bad choices.

All people who achieved success, any kind of success, dared to try. They did mistakes, and they failed over and again, but they did not give up.

Where Can You Dare?

This depends on you. It is advisable to start with minor matters, and as you gain confidence, do bigger things.

Here are a few suggestions:

1.Start learning a foreign language.

2.Go meet new people and friends.

3.Take a trip abroad.

4.Redecorate your home.

5.Ask your boss for a raise.

6.Start going to the gym.

Dare, don't be Afraid to Make Mistakes.

After gaining some experience you will feel more confident to dare handle bigger projects, such as:

1.Find a better job

2.Go back to college or start studying at the University

3.Make the move you always wanted, to a new neighborhood, a new city, or a different country

4.Start a business

5.Turn a hobby into a business

These are just a few of the things you can dare to do.If you make mistakes, it's all right. Everyone make mistakes. Learn from them and go on.

As said earlier, all successful people made mistakes, but they didn't let their mistakes discourage them or deter them.

It's quite simple, though not so easy to dare, and be afraid to make mistakes. This has nothing to do with finance, physical strength or education. It is all a state of mind. It is something inside you.You need to find the strength and courage within you. You should learn to be courageous and daring, and do things, without the need to be pushed and motivated from the outside.You have this strength within you, you only need to be conscious of it, and strengthen it.

Affirmations,visualization, and inner strength development are the tools to do this.Learn to be a doer, by taking the initiative and acting now, without procrastinating or hesitation.

Start with simple little things to gain experience and confidence.

*.Can you learn to speak fluently a foreign language, without making some mistakes at first?

*.Can you become a great cook, without learning, cooking and experimenting, and making some mistakes along the way?

*.Can you create a successful business, without learning, investing, making mistakes, and trying again?

*.Can you become an expert in any field, before you had enough experience?

Don't worry if you make mistakes on the way.

By making mistakes, you learn to improve and do better.

You just have to take action. It's not as difficult as it seems.

12 Steps to Motivation

How many times have you told yourself that you are going to improve your life, but ended doing nothing?

How many times have been dissatisfied with some aspects of your life and vowed to change them, but did not follow through with your decision?

What is holding you back, preventing you from improving your life?

It is lack of enthusiasm, motivation, desire, determination, willpower and discipline.

Do you, like many others, promise yourself to make changes in your life, especially at the beginning of aNew Year?

This also happens after a reading a book or an article about a someone, who transformed his life or achieved great success.

However, the desire to make improvements does not last long, and the enthusiasm quickly wanes away.

Is it possible to make positive changes?

Yes, it is certainly possible, but you have to make a plan, follow certain strategies and techniques, and make some inner changes in your viewpoint and in the manner of your thinking.

How to Improve Your Life in 12 Steps

1.Decide what it is you want to improve. Be specific.

Sit down where you can be alone and undisturbed, and write down a list of goals.Next, analyze what you wrote, to find out whether you really want to achieve the items on your list. You will most probably discover that you don't really want to achieve some of them. Strike off the one you don't really want.

2.Copy, on another piece of paper, the items left in your list, which you really want to achieve. Write them down in the order of their importance.

3.Think about a plan, how you can make them come true. Be as practical as possible, using your commonsense, intuition, imagination and creativity.

4.Come up with something, a first step, even if it is quite minor, which you can do right now, such as buying a book with information about your goal, attending a lecture, listening to motivating CDs, looking for courses or workshops that can help you improve your life, or any other step that will take you closer to achieving your goal.

5.Read inspiring books and articles about people who have attained success in the area of your choice. This will enhance your enthusiasm and motivation.

6.Visualizethe improvements you want to bring about. See them as already real and true. Make the mental pictures vivid and alive.

7.Keep your desire, enthusiasm and motivation alive, by thinking often how you would like your life to look like. Also, think often about the benefits and advantages you will gain by improving your life, circumstances, your financial condition, health, or anything else.

8.Repeat affirmations. They will constantly remind you of your goals, and program your subconscious mind to assist you in achieving them.

9.Don't let anything deter you from improving your life. Don't give in if there are obstacles, delays or difficulties. Be determined to do what you have decided to do, no matter how much time or effort it takes. This is the way successful people act.

10.Developing strongwillpower and self-disciplinewill endow you with the power to overcome any obstacle and difficulty and make you persistent in your efforts. These two skills, can be developed through special techniques and exercises.

11.Have faith in yourself and in your ability to improve your life, you financial condition, your habits and your behavior.

12.Be willing and open to accept change. Don't be passive, waiting for improvement to enter your life without doing anything.Take action, grab opportunities, and be willing to change your habits and lifestyle.

Remember, making resolutions is not enough; you need to do something about them. If you made resolutions in the past, but did not follow them through, it was because you were not serious enough and your desire was not strong enough.
You can improve your life on all levels, but you need to follow a plan, keep up your enthusiasm, desire and motivation, and not give in, when facing difficulties and obstacles. It might take some time and effort to improve your life, but this is worthwhile and rewarding goal.

Peace Within

In my early life, I made two very important discoveries. 

In the first place I discovered that making money was easy. 
And in the second place I discovered that making money and spending it foolishly was completely meaningless. 

I knew that this was not what I was here for, but at that time (this was many years ago), I didn't know exactly what I was here for.  It was out of a very deep seeking for a meaningful way of life, and after having walked all one night through the woods, that I came to what I now know to be a very important psychological hump. 
I felt a complete willingness, without any reservations, to give my life, to dedicate my life to service.  I tell you, it is a point of no return.  After that, you can never go back to completely self-centered living.And so I went into the second phase of my life.  I began to live to give what I could, instead ofgetwhat I could, and I entered a new and wonderful world. 
My life began to become meaningful.  I attained the great blessing of good health; I haven't had a cold or headache since.  (Most illness is psychologically induced.)  From that time on, I have known that my life-work would be work for peace;that it would cover the entire peace picture--peace among nations, peace among groups, peace among individuals, and the very, very important inner peace.

However, there's a great deal of difference between being willing to give your life, and actually giving your life, and for me, 15 years of preparation and of inner seeking lay between.

During this time I became acquainted with what Psychologists refer to as ego and conscience.  I began to realize that it's as though we have two selves or two natures or two wills with two different viewpoints.  Because the viewpoints were so different, I felt a struggle in my life at this period between the two selves with the two viewpoints. 
So there were hills and valleys--lots of hills and valleys.  Then, in the midst of the struggle there came a wonderful mountain-top experience, and for the first time I knew what inner peace was like.  I felt a oneness-- oneness with all my fellow human beings, oneness with all of creation.  I have never felt really separate since.  I could return again and again to this wonderful mountaintop, and then I could stay there for longer and longer periods of time, and just slip out occasionally.  Then came a wonderful morning when I woke up and knew that I would never have to descend again into the valley.  I knew that for me the struggle was over, that finally I had succeeded in giving my life, or finding inner peace. 
Again this is a point of no return.  You can never go back into the struggle.  The struggle is over now because youwilldo the right thing, and you don't need to be pushed into it.However, progress is not over.  Great progress has taken place in this third phase of my life, but it's as though the central figure of the jigsaw puzzle of your life is complete and clear and unchanging, and around the edges other pieces keep fitting in. 
There is always a growing edge, but the progress is harmonious.  There is a feeling of always being surrounded by all of the good things, like love and peace and joy.  It seems like a protective surrounding, and there is an unshakeableness within which takes you through any situation you may need to face.

The world may look at you and believe that you are facing great problems, but always there are the inner resources to easily overcome these problems.  Nothing seems difficult.  There is a calmness and a serenity and unhurriedness--no more striving or straining about anything.  Life is full and life is good, but life is nevermore overcrowded.  That's a very important thing I've learned:  If your life is in harmony with your part in the Life Pattern, and if you are obedient to the laws which govern this universe, then your life is full and good but not overcrowded.  If it is overcrowded, you are doing more than is right for you to do, more than is your job to do in the total scheme of things.

Now there is a living to give instead of to get.  As you concentrate on the giving, you discover that just as you cannot receive without giving, so neither can you give without receiving--even the most wonderful things like health and happiness and inner peace.  There is a feeling ofendless energy--it just never runs out; it seems to be as endless as air.  You just seem to be plugged into the source of universal energy.You are now in control of your life.  You see, the ego is never in control. 
The ego is controlled by wishes for comfort and convenience on the part of the body, by demands of the mind, and by outburstsof the emotions.  But the higher nature controls the body and the mind and the emotions.  I can say to my body, "Lie down there on that cement floor and go to sleep," and it obeys.  I can say to my mind,"Shut out everything else and concentrate on this job before you," and it's obedient.  I can say to the emotions, "Be still, even in the face of this terrible situation," and they are still. 

It's a different way of living. 

The philosopher Thoreau wrote: If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps he hears a different drummer.And nowyouare following a different drummer--the higher nature instead of the lower.

Motivation

The saying goes:

The expert in anything was once a beginner in everything.

Truer words were never spoken.

But this isn't what we see. This isn't what we feel when we watch these Olympians. It isn't what we think when we watch any expert or great success.
We see the finished product, shining brightly in designer packaging. We see triumph and achievement, not training. We see the riches, not the rags.
And this, as much as anything else, is why motivation - that inner drive that carries us toward all we desire - continues to escape us.
Today that comes to an end. Today I will open your eyes to a new way of viewing the changes you wish to carry out andthe challenges that are attempting to stop you.
The Olympians we admire might possess unique physical talent and natural gifts, but that inner fire that compels them forward is within us all. It's time to set it free.

Authors Don't Write Books
Whether it's a a friend who lost forty pounds or a track star streaking across the screen, our eyes can only see what is in front of us.
And more often than not, that picture of success is daunting.It's overwhelming, to see ourselves reaching those heights. No, it's more than that. It's unbelievable.When we view success at its peak, we feel separated from it. We see ourselves as incapable of doing something similar.

Take a book, for instance.
Seeing a novel on a shelf leads to the same conclusion in the minds of anyone posed with the question: 'Oh, I could never write a book.'This view is all wrong. The reason? Authors don't write books.

What Do Authors Write?

Authors don't write books; authors write words.
This is one of the most important ideas to understand. I know it sounds simple, but it separates those who progress from those who wish and wait.We've already said that most see the finished product and feel overwhelmed by the prospect of achieving the same goal.If this only occurred when watching an Olympic athlete, there would be little issue. But that's not how it works. We get that same sense of inability when viewing any worthwhile achievement.

Losing weight, finding a new career, starting a business or new relationship, overcoming personal debt - these are outcomes millions wish to pursue but don't believe they can achieve.

They can't see past the finished product.To get motivated, to truly ignite your drive, you must see your goals as achievable. You must believe in yourself and your abilities. You must see success, not as a matter of unattainable greatness, but merely as a matter of time.Losing weight begins with a single decision.

Finding the job you love begins with a single Google search. And starting anew relationship begins with a single look.The world is built upon blocks, not one massive stone.

One step, one movement, one decision, one action.

These are the things that feed success. These are things that you can do today.

Happy Rose Day

All you friends make my life  a bouquet of roses.
So, today is your day, my friends.
HAPPY ROSE DAY to all of you.

Creating PASSION FOR EVERYTHING

There’s a big myth in our culture:
That passion can only be spontaneous.

You either love your job or you don’t. You either enjoy exercising or hate it. You are interested in reading books or you find them boring. That passion can’t be forced or created.
I disagree.
Passion can be created. Even for things you don’t currently enjoy.
By tweaking the activities and pursuits you engage in, you can find a passion for anything. All it takes is a bit of patience and an open mind.
The benefit is that you end up loving the things you have to do anyways. Exercising, learning, studying, working and almost any pursuit can be made into a passion. And if you know how to do it, existing passions can be turned from mildly interesting to exciting.
The skill of finding your passion is like turning up the dial for the amount of color you experience in life.

Here are some ways to find your passion:

1. Get Curious– Curiosity is the basis of passion. Shake off your current understandings and begin from the view that you are almost completely ignorant on the subject. Then look for novelty to boost your interest.

2. Make it a Game –Give yourself rules, objectives and strategic constraints. The more creative thinking required, the better.

3. Set a Goal– Create a specific goal along with a deadline. This can infuse mundane activities with asense of direction and purpose. Writing a report goes from being just another task, to a creative challenge that pushes you.

4. Express Yourself- Find hidden opportunities for self-expression. This could mean inventing a style for folding clothes. Changing the format you write code in or altering the style of your presentation. View each activity as an act of expression and originality.

5. Focus– Cut distractions and eliminate noise. The more you focus on an activity the better you can notice interesting qualities about it. The only truly boring activity is the one you can’t pay attention to.

6. Jigsaw Piecing– A jigsaw puzzle has hundreds of uniquely shaped pieces of a picture. View your activities as pieces of a larger image. This can turn dull activities into individual snippets of a more fascinating whole.

7. Dial Down Cravings –Have you ever noticed how the hungrier you are, the less able you are to enjoy the taste of food? This works the same way with passion. The more you crave a goal (instead of the process containing the goal) the less likely you are to develop a passion for it. Goal-setting is good. Goal-obsession is not.

8. Connect with Talents– How can you apply your existing talents to an activity? Find ways to use skills you already have in a new endeavor. An artistic person could draw pictures to help himself study. An athletic person might be able to use her strength and endurance as a speaker.

9. Overcome the Frustration Barrier– If an activityis too difficult for you to become enthusiastic about it, slow down. Worry less about results and more about experimenting until you build up skill. Whenever I try a new hobby, I strive to just try things out before building skills. This keeps me from getting frustrated and ensures the process is fun.

10. Leech Enthusiasm– Energy is contagious. If you spend time with someone who exudes passion about a subject, some of it will rub off on you. Seek out people who have the energy you want and get them to describe their motivation. Often it will point you to key information you had no idea could be so interesting.

11. Remove the Chains– Feeling forced into an activity is a sure way to kill any passion. Instead of flowing with the task, you rebel against it, making you miserable. Be aware of the consequences for not acting, but remove the feeling that you don’t have a choice. You always have a choice.

12. Tune the Challenge– For boring tasks, make them more difficult. For frustrating tasks, make them easier. This can be done by varying the speed or constraints you need to complete a task. Boring chores can be made more interesting by setting a time-limit. Frustrating assignments can be made easier by allowing yourself an awful first-draft instead of perfection.

13. Get instruction– Finding a teacher can give you the basic level of understanding necessary to enjoyan activity. Sometimes passion can be drained just by not knowing the basics.

14. Humble confidence– Confidence is necessary for passion, but arrogance can destroy it. Build a humble confidence where you believe in your abilities to handle the unknown, but you also have a great respect for it.

15. Focus Immediately– Look at the next immediate step. Don’t concern yourself over what needs to be done next month or next year if it overwhelms you. Focus on each step of the marathon, not how many miles you have left.

16. Play– If the process confuses or bothers you, just play with it. Don’t have a purpose until you can define one.

17. Eliminate– This one might not apply, but it is always good to use. If you really can’t enjoy something, find a way to eliminate it from your life.

Don’t waste your time doing things you don’t enjoy.

Either cultivate a passion or get rid of it.

Success

The power of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results.
A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action.
Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

Many have heard it said that another person cannot make you happy. The happiness will come from within you. Being confident is a choice and it will produce positive emotions. There has been much research done on being in a positive state. It will produce a sense of well-being and has even proven to have multiple health benefits.

Successful living today being positive will change your life.

The way that someone feels about themselves shows in the way they act. They always find funny things in everyday life that makes them and others happy. There is joy and cheerfulness that just rubs off on the people who are around them. The way they feel shows in their life because they are more relaxed and sleep better at night. They are not only physically assured but mentally as well.

Most people have a spiritual connection that gives them the confident mindset in life.

People who have a confident mindset take full advantage of their work force. They go in everyday with a smile on their face and the confidence that they have the ability to handle anything that comes their way. Their ability to take responsibility and not to blame others when something goes wrong shows that they have a handle on life. Negative emotions have no place with them on their way to success.

Confidence is so much better than looking back and thinking of what could have been.

Confident people are ones that you want tobe around because they make the most of the present and look forward to the future. They are in awe of the beauty of nature and good things around them.

This behavior comes from choosing the atmosphere that one is around. It is best to surround yourself with assured people that are upbeat and thinking good thoughts. Try to avoid negative news and thinking on unpleasant things. This will be to your advantage in building the blocks in your life of thinking of good wholesome thoughts.

Positive and negative thinking are both contagious.

All of us affect, in one way or another, the people we meet. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings transference, and through body language. People sense our aura and are affected by our thoughts, and vice versa. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive people and avoid negative ones?
People are more disposed to help us if we are positive, and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.
Negative thoughts, words and attitude bring up negative and unhappy moods and actions. When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and disappointment.

Becoming a Positive Example to All

Being positive, doing the right things and thinking the right things will produce the kind of behavior that is an example to all. It will be an encouragement to those around you and an example that they can follow. Watching your confident living will help those with negative tendencies to change the way they think. If it changes the course of their lives you have done a great thing. Being careful of the things we say also will manifest how we act. Our conversation should be complimentary and uplifting.
Being tolerant of others is another advantage of being confident. We will not always be treated in the manner that is right. We are not responsible for the negative way that people treat us, but we are responsible for how we react to it.
A positive person will realize that sometimes people are a product of their environment. Maybe they didn't have all of the advantages that you did. The right thing to do is to act in a positive way.

It is always positive to think of others.

Contributing in positive ways leads to an eternal happiness.

Celebrate Success

Do you reward yourself for your accomplishments?

It is important that we take the time to celebrate even our small victories.It's time to take a step back and realize that instead of focusing on all that we're not getting done, we should be focusing on all that we are getting done.

I call this the Celebrate the Small Victories approach.

The intent is to give a little love to yourself for all of the hard work you put into each day. This will make for a much happier existence, boost your self-esteem by placing focus on the positive and likely make you even more productive and energetic as time goes on.

You can't lose!

By marking these successes, we make them stick out in our minds. It forces us to acknowledge our progress and increases the likelihood we'll repeat the positive behavior in the future.

Did you have a good day at work today?
Did you finish a noteworthy project or deliver a good presentation?
Did you close a sale?
For stay-at-home moms, did you survive another day with a toddler?
Did the kids get to and from school on time?
Did you finish a household chore?

Whatever your goals, be sure to recognize your victories.

So, go ahead and treat yourself for all your victories, even the small ones!

*.Buy yourself a banana split from your favorite ice cream store.
*.Give yourself permission to take a day off and relax.
*.Get a latte at a coffee shop.
*.Take an hour and listen to some of your favorite music.
*.Go to lunch with your best friend.
*.Buy yourself a new shirt.
*.Throw an impromptu dinner party.
*.Perform a random act of kindness.
*.Grill yourself a steak out on the barbeque.
*.Go for a walk in the woods.
*.Bake a pan of brownies and share them with friends.
*.Go on a date to that new restaurant you've been wanting to try.
*.Have a tall frozen margarita.
*.Eat a chocolate bar, preferably with almonds.
*.Call your parents and brag a little.
*.Race a go-kart for the thrill of it.
*.Spend a couple of hours alone in a beautiful place.
*.Meet someone new at a social gathering.
*.Take a weekend road trip.
*.Drink a large cherry limeade.
*.Get yourself an iPod.
*.Take a long nap.
*.Go see an inspiring movie.
*.Share a bottle of champagne with your spouse or partner.

Small victories are worth celebrating too!

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list of ways to celebrate, but it should give you plenty of ideas for how to treat yourself. Making your victories special will make them memorable so, go ahead and pat yourself on the back once in awhile. You deserve it!

My secret to MOTIVATION

A word is my secret.

As you probably know, routine casts a trance-like power with devastating impact.
As a result, it is an absolute necessity to break free of its grasp.If you can't find a way out of the vicious pattern and into a new set of thoughts, feelings, and actions, you have no hope of changing or improving your life.

Consider this word my guaranteed release.

Working with remarkable speed, it personally shakes me out of autopilot, delivers an eye-opening wake-up call, and motivates with more force than anything I know.

Not bad for a word.

My hope--and my assumption--is that it will have the same positive effect on you.

The Word, My Release

I know a time will come when I'll no longer be able to act on the things I want, the things I've dreamed about experiencing and things I've always wished to become.I will have to let them go. I will have to let go of all those exciting ideas I tossed about in my mind, all the goals carefully constructed while daydreaming.They will have to be put to rest, once and for all. And I will never experience them.

Never

This is a frightening thought for me. It is startling, can be gut-wrenching, and tip-toes toward terrifying.But it's also something else. And it's here, on the other side of the coin, that I find my secret.

The Flip-Side of the Word

Coming to grips with reality can be scary.So much so, that most men and women choose the other door. They hide from the truth and tuck their dreams into the fairytale 'someday.''

I'll do it someday...someday.'

A sigh of relief follows and it's back to the safe and comfy routine.
No need to face fears, no need to rise to challenges, no need to take action.

That will all happen someday--but not today.

If only this were true. It is not.

Here is the truth: Someday eventually meets the edge of the cliff.

Someday eventually runs out. Someday eventually turns into never.

Frightening?

Perhaps. But it's also your way out. It's also your release from the routine that strangles your hopes and dreams.By focusing intently--and I mean intently-- on 'never,' in regard to your lifelong wishes and wants, you will be shocked out of your pattern of procrastination and jolted into a new mindset.You'll have the motivation you need to stop hesitating because you know, without question, if you keep it up, you'll never experience the life you've been waiting for all these years.
Without action, talk is only noise.

Below is what I do in particular to get the most out of this word.

It's something you can do, anytime and any place, to dismantle procrastination and ignite your inner drive.

Action Steps -

Short & Sweet

Think of something you want. Not a lip-service dream, but something you truly desire, something either for yourself or for someone else.
Our results have shown that people imagine themselves experiencing the joys of progress or success when asked to think of a goal.
This time I want you to do the opposite.
I want you to imagine, vividly, that your idea, your chosen dream or goal, cannot happen. No matter what you do, you'll never get it. Never.

Never.

If you do it right, you'll feel anxious, like you have to get up out of your seat right now and do something before time runs out. This is the power of 'never'.

Don't hide from the truth.

Let it smack you in the face and punch you in the gut. Only then can it snap you out of the routine and drive you into action. Only then can it change your life.
If you don't do something now, you may never do it then. Never hide, never avoid, never run from 'never.' Use it as a fire to place beneath your greatest ideas and accept it as a truth that can set you free.

Embrace...'never.'

How to quit Smoking

" I am going to quit smoking tomorrow..." How many times have you said this and how many more times have you heard it?

Smokers, like alcoholics, make this pledge many times in their lives because they need to and they break it for the simple reason that pledges are always meant to be broken.
This does not mean that every time you will take a pledge you will break it. Try to make this the last one because you can do it and you are going to do it.

Believe it and you will, here's some help:

Believe in yourself.
Believe that you can quit. Think about some of the most difficult things you have done in your life and realize that you have the guts and determination to quit smoking. It's up to you .After reading this list, sit down and write your own list, customized to your personality and way of doing things. Create your own plan for quitting.

Set a quit date.
Decide what day you will extinguish your cigarettes forever. Write it down. Plan for it. Prepare your mind for the "first day of the rest of your life". You might even hold a small ceremony when you smoke you last cigarette, or on the morning of the quit date.

Drink lots of water.
Water is good for you anyway, and most people don't get enough. It will help flush the nicotine and other chemicals out of your body, plus it can help reduce cravings by fulfilling the "oral desires" that you may have.

You need a good reason to quit.
Simply deciding to quit because the sky is blue is not a sufficient reason. The need to quit smoking is obvious, but the desire to quit needs to come from inside in order for the process to be successful.

Look for small rewards that you can give yourself as you make progress.
You are not likely to just quit cold turkey with no complications. Set up small rewards that will help you to want to make progress towards ultimately quitting. This can be a great motivation to keep you on target.

Plan out your quitting strategy.
Decide how you want to try to quit and stick to it. Set a specific amount of time for your plan. Ifafter a time, say six weeks you have not quit, work on a new plan. This will allow ample time to try each method, while still giving yourself flexibility to try something else.

Work to overcome your struggles.
If you are smoking due to stressful things in your life, you need to deal with the stress before you can successfully quit. Regardless of the reason why you are smoking, it needs to be dealt with in able to quit for good.

Set up a punishment for yourself.
For example, if you generally stop at a Cafe each day for a coffee you might consider skipping that on days when you have fallen short of your goals for smoking. Whatever punishment you select, make sure it is something that you care about.

Seek out help from your friends and family.
You need support asyou are trying to quit, and this will help you to ensure that you are not alone in the entire process.

Look for someone to quit with you.
If you are entirely on your own, you are going to be much more likely to slip back into smoking. If someone is working with you and holding you accountable, you are more likely to struggle to succeed. Workingto quit smoking is not easy, but hard tasks are much easier to accomplish with a partner.

Aim to quit for good.
This might seem a bit strange, but if you are just planning to quit for a weekend you are not going to put much effort into the process. If you are planning to quit for good,a lot more time and effort is going to go into the process as well as your plan to quit.

Look for ways to take your mind off cigarettes.
If you are always thinking about cigarettes, you may find that you are much more tempted to smoke. Reading a book, exercising, talking on the phone, surfing the internet and even cooking are all great ways to occupy your mind and keep from thinking about when your last cigarette was.

Conclusion:

The decision to stop smoking can be one of the best choices that you can make for your health and your life. So it makes sense to put everything into it when you decide to quit ensuring success. Think of the things that motivate you, find a support system, and use tips like the ones in this article to create a plan that is sure to succeed.Most people are readily aware that stopping smoking can improve their health, but learning how to really conquer the urges to smoke is not easy. With so many temptations circulating around, as well as the stresses of daily life it is easy to see why jumping into a pack of cigarettes seems like a good idea.But, the bottom line is that you need to just take it one day at a time and step by.
You can achieve the ability to quit smoking, but it is something that you do not want to look too far in the future. You do not want to get to the place where you think you are so strong that you can put yourself in vulnerable situations.
You need to surround yourself with other non-smokers, or you can hang with the same friends you have always had as long as they are respectful to the path which you are walking; they may even be inspired by you to take control of their own life.

No blogs today

Sorry folks,
Since I'm not well, there will be no blogs today.
H. R.